Kidless

Don't let the title deceive you, we will never be kidless. It is just a strange phenomenon in my life and seemed appropriate to jot down. I have many interests to keep my mind, body and soul occupied but it seems the purpose, the drive, the meaning of doing them is..... gone. It left and attends S.I.U.C. and G.C. I should have expected this since I have always been one of those mothers who cried EVERY year on the first day of school. Because, after all, it was fun to play and teach my children and why would I want them to leave? I would stare blankly at moms that would say, 'I can't wait for school to start!'

The biggest change in me is introspection. All of a sudden I have this incredible recall of days gone by, of fun times with the kids, of misguided parenting. Such as, (I'm laughing as I type) when the kids were preschool age; they had pushed all of my buttons. I was so aggravated with them, no discipline worked....nothing. So as is often the case, as their volume increased mine increased to an incredible crescendo! They both stopped ..... and stared..... and stood very still..... and then Kyle, very matter of factly stated, 'wow, Mom, that was really loud.' And that was that! I can't say for sure, but that may have been one of those days that when Daddy got home I said, 'I'm going for a walk.'

I have these snippets of things filter through my everyday thought processes. They are things worth remembering and things worth reading about. These are the things I hope to preserve here.